During my nearly 30 years as a nurse in the NHS, one area that stood out to me was the lack of structured emotional support for the families of patients after a loved one had passed. Working in intensive care, I often formed deep connections with the relatives of patients, many of whom had been in critical condition for weeks or even months. As a nurse, my role was not only to care for the patient but also to offer comfort, understanding, and a sense of preparedness to the family as they navigated the difficult journey ahead.
In those final moments, I would do everything I could to create an atmosphere of dignity, ensuring the family had the chance to say goodbye. However, what always struck me as deeply unsettling was how abruptly that support ended once the family left the hospital. It felt like an emotional void – one moment they had someone to lean on, and the next, they were alone with their grief. I knew there had to be a better way to extend that care and compassion beyond the hospital walls, especially in such fragile moments of loss.
Fast forward to today, I find myself in a different but profoundly related role. Now working as a complementary therapist, I support pet owners who are facing the twilight years of their beloved companions. Just as I did with families in the NHS, I spend extended periods of time with pet owners, helping them care for their elderly or sick pets in ways that improve the quality of their lives. This process, too, happens over a long period of time, and during that journey, I build connections with the pet owners, offering emotional and practical support as their pets’ conditions evolve.
The bond we share with our pets is unique and powerful. For many, their pets are family, companions who have been by their side through the ups and downs of life. When a pet becomes elderly or seriously ill, pet owners can experience intense emotional pain. As a therapist, I’m there to support not only the animal’s physical wellbeing but also the emotional wellbeing of the family who loves them. It is during this time that I’ve observed the parallels between my previous work in the NHS and my current role – the deep emotional bonds, the slow progression of time, and the profound sense of loss.
One thing I’ve noticed is that pet bereavement is often misunderstood or underestimated by those who have not experienced it firsthand. Some people don’t fully grasp the depth of grief that can accompany the loss of a pet. They might make dismissive comments like “It’s just a dog” or “You can get another cat.” But for those who have loved and lost a pet, the grief is very real. It mirrors the grief of losing any family member. And just like the loss of a human loved one, the passing of a pet can bring up complex emotions – sadness, guilt, and even confusion about how to move forward.
This is what led me to become a Pet Bereavement Coach. I wanted to offer the same compassion and support I had provided as a nurse, but in a way that was focused on helping people process the loss of their beloved pets. Grief is valid, regardless of whether the loss is of a person or an animal. By becoming a Pet Bereavement Coach, I now provide a safe space where people can openly express their emotions, feel validated in their grief, and find solace in the knowledge that their pain is not only understood but deeply respected.
My sessions focus on helping pet owners process their loss in a way that celebrates the life of their pet while dissolving any feelings of guilt or regret. Whether in person or via Zoom, these sessions are designed to honour the bond between the pet and their owner. Together, we explore the many layers of grief and work to peel back the feelings of sadness to find moments of peace and comfort. It’s not about “moving on” or forgetting; it’s about remembering, cherishing, and celebrating the life that was shared.
Just as I had once felt it wasn’t right for families to leave the hospital unsupported after a loved one passed, I now feel the same about pet owners who face the loss of their cherished companions. Everyone deserves to have their grief acknowledged and honoured, and I am privileged to provide that support through my work as a Pet Bereavement Coach.
If you or someone you know is facing the impending loss of a pet or struggling with the aftermath, please know that you don’t have to walk that path alone. Support is available, and it’s okay to grieve deeply for a pet who meant the world to you. Through compassion, understanding, and guidance, healing is possible, one step at a time.